Mahout Camp, North of Luang Prabang, Laos: 27 – 28th Nov 09

Yesterday morning we were woken up by the manager banging on the bungalow door - shouting about a bomb, which was about to explode. Hmmm. The Americans bombed the hell out of Laos to flush out the Viet Cong during the war and bombs are still often found in the rivers and countryside. A controlled explosion was carried out. Having lived in London for so many years, we’re used to this type of caper – it happens every few months. However, the American and Kiwi guests we encountered were practically panic stricken and emailing home to say they were safe, muppets…

After that excitement we mooched around Luang Prabang some more, and today we transferred 7km up the Nam Khan River to a mahout camp.

A mahout is a man who works and lives with elephants. Laos used to be called ‘the Kingdom of a million elephants’ – until recently they worked in the logging industry but have been paying their way by giving rides to tourist since the industry stopped.

We’re going to be here for three days learning to ride the elephants and helping to feed and bathe them. We’ve been provided with mahout suits, which comprises of denim tunic and shorts. They make us look like we’ve just escaped from hospital.

Our accommodation is a very nice little bungalow looking out over the river. The weather is lovely, the river is bubbling away, there are mountains in the distance and trees all around - this is one of the loveliest spots we’ve stayed.

After driving out of town we were met in the jungle by an elephant and mahout. We climbed off a wooden tower onto the seat on its back and took off through the jungle to our camp. After a few minutes the mahout asked if I’d like to swap places, so I slid down off the seat onto the elephant’s neck. Matt took over after 15 minutes or so. Have you ever sat on an elephant’s neck? It’s really uncomfortable – there’s nothing to grab hold of so you kind of lean forward and squeeze the elephant between your thighs. After a few minutes your legs and buttocks are killing - it’s nice when they flap their ears on your bare legs though!

After lunch we were given a list of mahout commands, to control the animals. The words for ‘no, stop being naughty’ are ‘Ya Ya’! So we thought of our niece Soraya through the day as that’s her nickname!

We went on an elephant again for another hour or so and this time we had one each. I started off by sitting on the neck but after a while transferred to the seat as my bits were hurting. Matt stayed on his for the whole time (90 minutes in total as his mahout decided to bugger off and collect fruit for half an hour) and now can’t walk very well. Matt renamed his mahout ‘Arsehole’ as a result. After the trek we took our elephants bathing. Matt opted out due to ‘crotch-stretch’ syndrome, but I had a laugh as my elephant splashed around and blew water at me through his trunk.

Later in the afternoon we had a quick boat trip down river to visit the grave of Henry Mahout, the French man who rediscovered Angkor Wat in the 19th century and gave his name to elephant men all over the world!